Malachi 4:6 “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers…” is the beginning of the last prophecy in the Old Testament. It was given 400 years prior to the first coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a prophecy that will be fulfilled prior to the Second Coming of the Lord. We are heading down this road, and we should be looking towards signs that indicate this impending long awaited restoration.
I just recently had a conversation with my eldest son Alexis who is now a married man and a father himself. We discussed several topics and believe that this discussion may help shed some light for others concerning restoration. Our full conversation is available via links below this blog. In sharing what we learned from this conversation, we pray to impact your life in a positive way and help guide the current “Fatherless Generation” to comprehend some of the root causes that may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship between a father and a son.
I will be addressing this conversation as a father-son relationship, but it’s important to note it is inclusive of a daughter-father or daughter-mother relationship as well.
In my conversation with my son Alexis, the first symptom we identified as a foundational problem in a father-son relationship is the uncertainty of LOVE. From day one the devil will use lies to accomplish his evil purposes. The enemy will use every opportunity he sees to sow the seed of uncertainty. For example, he will use lies to convince you that your father does not love you and this lie can draw you apart from your father. Another example may be that the devil can cause the son to perceive the fathers correction as an unloving action. In the Garden, he introduced a question mark in Eve’s thinking.
“Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” –Genesis 3:1
We must identify when the enemy is using this strategy. We must acknowledge that this same devilish strategy is still creating havoc in the father and son relationship by introducing in the mind of a young son the following question, “Does your father really love you?”
Love is essential for the healthy development of a child. Satan knows this and therefore he uses this tactic as a stumbling block in the young tender and impressionable mind of a son. He does this by sowing this seed and ipso facto creating a lack of confidence in the development of the child.
Say No to the Blame Game
The second item of importance we discovered during our conversation was that of the “blame game.” It is easy to point fingers at each other when considering who is at fault for this or for that. During our conversation, my son and I agreed that this was not beneficial for anyone. The approach we took was to remain Scripturally focused and decided to talk about the fact that a healthy father-son relationship must be worked on a daily basis and what that entailed.
Make God Part of the Equation
It is a popular concept in society that as parents we should allow our children to decide not only what religion they want to embrace, but also whether they are to believe in God. In our conversation, my son and I concluded that although this is not the biblical approach, we should respect parents that may embrace this approach as they are people, and we should treat everyone with dignity and kindness.
That said, the caveat we would apply is the following – When a son or daughter is confronted with the dilemma of making these kinds of choices, the most responsible approach as a Christian parent is to give them, at minimum, the choice to choose God. Secular parents may not know any better but, they too should even make God a choice. As believers we must inoculate our children with truth. After you have informed and trained your child with a biblical worldview, ultimately, they will make their own decision. God has endowed us with the freedom of choice. This is the biblical way of doing it right. The perfect example is Joshua, when he said to the people of Israel, “my house and I will serve the Lord.” And he gave Israel a choice on who to serve.
Joshua 24:15 says: “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
* * *
These are only three of the many fundamental principles we need to consider as we move forward towards this father-son restoration. I hope this has been helpful in understanding such a critical topic.
Live Conversations with my son:
Please note that our conversations occurred during our sunday service. Click below to view the full service or note the point the conversations begins. Thank you for tuning in!